Friday, January 9, 2009

Earl Has Run Away...Or He's Hiding Really, Really Good...

I am pretty sure that my cat, Earl has run away from home. I've only been his...Momma, for 3 weeks, give or take a few days. I have been treating him for a VICIOUS case of ear mites. I even gave him a...eeeeek, BATH. Needless to say, he hates me. He hides from me whenever I come home. He knows me only as "that Bitch who cleans my ear out and gave me a bath". He's maybe 3 months old. He is a little on the retarded side. He poops in his litter box--but I've seen evidence that he pees wherever he has the urge. His ear is soooo gross, that when I clean it I gag. The smell!! The mucus and pus! And he wants to shake it all over me. Gag.

Yesterday when I caught him and drug him out from under the chair/recliner to clean and medicate his nastiness, he grabbed a hold of my middle finger with his claw and attempted to pull the bone out of my finger. In other words, it hurt like a Mo Fo. Today, at lunch, I went hunting for him. I looked in all his good hiding places. All the closets. Under the recliners and chairs. Under end tables, my bed...even the dryer (if you leave the door open he will crawl in and lay his nastiness all over clean clothes). I couldn't find him. Then I remembered: yesterday, I cleaned out the refrigerator. And took all the gross leftovers that had worn their welcome out--out to the field behind our house to feed the Chupacabra that lives in the woods. And I left the back door open when I did it...did he sneak out then?? Or. I remembered that when I got up this morning I saw the front door open 4 inches. My 17 year old vampire/daughter came in soooo late it was early...this morning--did she let Earl slip out the door?? The storm door was closed--but who knows...? So. Is Earl hiding in a really good place? Or is he gone?

My Sweets feels really bad that he got me a kitten that is flawed, ill...messed up. He wanted a kitten that jumps around. Snuggles. Plays with the $30 worth of cat toys I bought. I love Earl. I do. I wanted to be his Knight in Shinning Armor. To rescue him from an ear mite filled miserable life. And send him purring into one filled with canned food and catnip. But, maybe Earl just wanted to be a wild cat, like his CatMommy and CatDaddy. Maybe he got tired of me cleaning all that gunk out of his ears. Putting in those dreadful drops. Got tired of me hauling his ass to the cat box every time I caught him in the "I'm about to urinate all over this here quilt" pose. So he snuck out. I want to put food out for him--but I'm afraid. Afraid the Chupacabra will get it--or Earl.

So, tonight, when I get off work, I'm going to search the house from top to bottom for Earl. I may even bribe the kids--like I do when we can't find a special toy, or school backpack. "Whoever finds him gets a dollar. A WHOLE dollar!!" Lay out carrots for the Carrot god or pray to G. O. D. that we find him.


  1. I giggle every time I have to click the mature content thing when I come here. So awesome.
    I hope you find Earl. Keep me posted.

  2. *waves madly*

    Hey honey, finally get to catch up with you after my hols! Please tell me...what's a chupacraba or whatever you said?